finally a Sunday to rest

Finally Sunday come by...A day to be absolutely LAZY and really clear my room.
Gonna be very very busy next week especially,coz it is the last week before the project begins.However i will still be with them for ard 2-3 weeks for the recruitment exercises.
So next week is gonna be one tough week that I dun think I have anytime left for anyone else.
Not Junhan,not my family..and not even my Jason.
Sorry dear..

Although I am really still..."whoa..what is gg on~?" but part of me enjoys to be part of e chase also.
Really stepping out to work and just doing part time or attachment are totally 2 different issues.The feeling and the kinda commitment that you are gonna put in are different as well.

I never think I would enjoy and feel obliged to do what I am doing.Guess life is always full of changes and really...one is to learn how to deal.
Along these changes,alot of other things may change too...be it within or not within my control.

I feel like I'm being twirl in a whirlwind.Everything is spinning round and round so fast that anytime and anything could change the next minute.And I refer to everything that is connected to me,close or not,and even myself.

I dunno if I like it but I cannot stop with it.I just have to go with the wind to find up what is next.
It's always exciting and yet scary at the same time to discover the unknown,especially if it is connected to yourself.
The feeling of trying to resist and limit yourself from more changes and yet at the same time wanting to find up what could be next is totally contradicting and totally dangerously exciting.

I mean it could be good or bad.Every next minute that is gonna happen could makes e decision of everyone that is connected to me,like Jason,my family,my friends,junhan and myself.
That is why I am a lil scare yet I am not too scare to move on.

I never think this new chapter could be so..dangerous?I did see it coming but i did not prepare for such to come.
Whatever that I am talking right now,Yng is the one who knows most of it.

Be in control,i keep telling myself.
I cannot afford to do a thing wrong coz one decision or so leads to a different outcome.
Perhaps my dear boy would be scratching his head as he reads this right now,but maybe he understands too.

So I am telling everyone to sit tight..and prepare for the bungee jump yourself..anytime from now.Coz I may not be able to control the train afterall.It is speeding faster and faster...
Suddenly I recalled the scenario whereby Spiderman was trying to stop the bullet train.
Mine is the same except I am the driver and everyone else is the passengers...and I have no Spiderman in the train.

Sorry to everyone that I cant spend time with,especially to Jason.
If I gain control...of this train,everything would be safe.
*pecks on your cheeks*
I am sure you know what I am talking about coz you know me,sometimes even better than I know myself.

*Deep breathe*
And so the ride begins...

just a lil while more...

Working has been fine,actually I did enjoy my work there.But I'm really tired.
Just for yesterday,my meeting lasted till 10.30PM!
Well this is just for this period of time,so do not expect my daily blog for this few weeks.
At least I like the pple there..well to be safe,I do like them superfically.Coz in this canivourous society,it always pay to be safe.
I just found up from Kah Yin's hp that Claris commented I look abit 'lian' on my first day of work.Well~~~I hope she does have a second opinion now.But commenting I look lian is really the first.
i shall do the introduction of my colleagues perhaps..next time.
 
To my parents:
Pls...I am very very tired and very very upset upon seeing two of you like this.
i know and I really dunno at the same time.
What I think both of you lack of is a PROPER heart to heart conversation.
I am so tired after a long day of work that I can hardly teach Junhan.
And I am so upset for both of you cant understand each other but only pour your complaints,views and every thing to me.
I wish I have the time and is the kind that is able to resolve the issue.
I ...wish i could have done something more for both of you,really.I am on neither side yet I am on both side at the same time.
All I can do is to let both of you "vent" your bottled up feelings and discontentment towards each other to ME!
I have no idea if you both know how upset i am to hear all this yet I cant do anything and NOW doesnt have the time to.
What is the point of me gg back home right now...I rather drive my body to hell by working than to be home...a home that is already broken inside.
What bond...
Kiss my ASS!
 

just a lil while more...

Working has been fine,actually I did enjoy my work there.But I'm really tired.
Just for yesterday,my meeting lasted till 10.30PM!
Well this is just for this period of time,so do not expect my daily blog for this few weeks.
At least I like the pple there..well to be safe,I do like them superfically.Coz in this canivourous society,it always pay to be safe.
I just found up from Kah Yin's hp that Claris commented I look abit 'lian' on my first day of work.Well~~~I hope she does have a second opinion now.But commenting I look lian is really the first.
i shall do the introduction of my colleagues perhaps..next time.
 
To my parents:
Pls...I am very very tired and very very upset upon seeing two of you like this.
i know and I really dunno at the same time.
What I think both of you lack of is a PROPER heart to heart conversation.
I am so tired after a long day of work that I can hardly teach Junhan.
And I am so upset for both of you cant understand each other but only pour your complaints,views and every thing to me.
I wish I have the time and is the kind that is able to resolve the issue.
I ...wish i could have done something more for both of you,really.I am on neither side yet I am on both side at the same time.
All I can do is to let both of you "vent" your bottled up feelings and discontentment towards each other to ME!
I have no idea if you both know how upset i am to hear all this yet I cant do anything and NOW doesnt have the time to.
What is the point of me gg back home right now...I rather drive my body to hell by working than to be home...a home that is already broken inside.
What bond...
Kiss my ASS!
 

Forgetful Lucy~

Yea,as you might guess,this is the song that is playing right now.
Always played the CD Jason burned it for me,hehe.
Imagine I'm the Lucy in '50 First Dates',always forget who Jason is upon the break of dawn.haha.And he sang this for me every time.haha.
 
"Forgetful Lucy~~~Who has got nice boobies~"(Opps~haha)
 
Had a absolutely simplest but very sweet day with Jason.I was almost smiling throughout the whole journey.Well at least my heart was.There was a erm...roadshow outside HMV,about the proper concern for pets.So they have bunnies,cats and puppies there.My FAV is of coz the pups.
They were all so sleepy and look absolutely SOOOOOOO cute when they were sleeping,that all the girls can't help but to go "sooooooo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~cute~~~~~"
(well,I was one of them)
 
I really want to have a Golden Retreiver next time.Jason can have his aquarium at home,but I must have my own Goldie.Of coz that is all so sweet and nice if we get married young and kids are not coming in the way so soon.
 
You know,Jason?It really doesnt matter if we were eating at any restaurants OR just the coffee house at FAr East.It really doesnt matter if we were eating ice creams that is like $3.50 per scoop or from Swesens,OR we are just buying from the 'Potong' uncle.It really doesnt matter we are able to take cabs or drive in our own car,OR we are walking by feet or taking bus.
 
Coz every minute with you is just too precious and o'so sweet..so I dun care whether we can afford a big time with the measures of money.
The time spend with you is rich enough.
 
Love ya,dear.
 
 

This Love

Often when i cant think of a title for my blog today,i just use the song that im listening right now.
 
Sigh..this love..no i wasnt referring entirely to what Maroon 5 is singing..ya im listening to that song la.
 
Actually im quite upset of what is always happening b/wc my parents.Sometimes i do wonder if their marraige was a mistake.
I mean it was as if they knew that they are just not too right for each other in the first place,then why do they still go ahead and get married?
 
I knew I was in no position to said that coz without their union,there would be me writing over here.And without me,alot of things that is happening right now will be change.Talk about the movie 'Butterfly Effect'.
 
How do I get this right...Ok,perhaps I have a lil' summary.
 
My mum is a very very very head strong person,stuborn and strong willed.I do not deny her capabilities and maybe the fact that if she was given a chance to study like us,she might be a certain strong or at least capable figure in a company out there.
But often she is too head strong to really think if she has hurt others and would not really accept others' thinkings.
Or maybe she does,but not really to her immediate family.
I guess alot of things has to be do with her own family backgrd,the way that she led her life and so on.Coz it is pretty much the same for me.
I guess alot of things she would wanna share,her stories,troubles and things like that.But maybe..sometimes she prefer not to share too much.
 
 
My dad on the other hand is a more gentle and mild mannered guy.He is more peace loving and more sensitive to others' feelings.He is also a very traditional chinese old man,thus there are certain beliefs that he valued very much.
He thinks that he is a very much...erm..management kinda person.He will sit back and observe and then find a way to counter or treat u back.At least he deems he is such a capable person in this aspect.
He loves to share his own philosophies,stories,experiences and future plans with me.
He loves to do things by a certain formula or pattern.haha..like when it comes to mopping the floor,he always teach me how to mop a proper manner.
Yes...my family loving,patient old man.
 
How much I adore and love both of tehm.I know they have suffered alot for us and i really hope one day,very soon,I am able to give them something that they always wanted to do,or at least very close to it.
 
Life is always this short,I cannot imagine that my parents would be leaving me one day and that it would be my turn to leave my children.I'm very scare of death doing us apart but again,this is life.
So you know,I really wish that I could give them something before I dun have the chance to.
 
But there they are..their points never met.I dunno whose fault it is to lie on,but I am not to judge.I dun want to be too much on either side.I just wanted to love them both and hope that they can be more peaceful and understanding towards each other,if they cant love each other.
 
Divorce.This is really ironic.I mean..their age sums up to a century plus,and that they are having this in their plan.
Tears are choking behind me but i do not want to shed.So I hold each of them back..it is not happening and wont happen..so i wont cry.
 
I dunno why is this happening.Here I am...since young,studying hard and working hard for them.Yes i may be still be financially dependent on them,but I'm working right now...isn't it?
I am getting myself a perm job so fast,sacrifacing on what I wanna do and stuffs to earn money,to ease your burdens,and hopefully to give you what you 2 really deserve as soon as possible.
 
I am really trying so hard.I know I may be so not strong right now...But trust me,I will be.
 
It doesnt please me,nor does it DOESN'T hurt me to see you both like this.
What is the point that I have parents living together but not talking,not loving,not understanding?Why would I even wanna be at home then?
But I wanna be there for both of you.I may not talk when you both talk to me,but I am listening.I hope by listening...you might feel better,even though I dont feel happy listening to your troubles and woes and complaints and every negative comments and plans about each other.
Oh...I am really so sad inside.
 
But it's ok.Im a grown up now.I know what to do better and yes,I would be happy for whatever decisions you 2 make as long as it does mean you will be happy then.
I will just be there...
 
Oh well....Good night.
 

another day to another day

interview went pretty a-ok today la.
was getting more and more experience and throughly behave like someone giving interviews,that i dun even seem to know myself.
haha.
oh there's this very warm,friendly and sincere malay lady came to interview.before i can even start,she commented that i looked like a Japanese gal,very sweet and was surprised that someone young giving interviews.
haha..that's really the first.
well maybe she's just commenting coz she needs the job,but then again she is too sincere for me to doubt her.haha.
 
went to a school for those pple with special needs graduation ceremony after work.
yea..pretty soon i will have to handle another project.
oh well...this is real work,not attachment.i often feel like im just doing IPP,but this is REAL work.sigh.
 
so the SOM aka senior operation manager of the other company but is in charge of this current project im doing the interviews for.he wanted to poach me over,haha..yea right!
 
darn..now outta the blue..my parents are quarelling again..what the fish?
 
ok gotta work tml and went to tuition afterwards.
 
yea..sorry my dear pretty pre pret..i may not have the time for u just as yet coz this is the starting of my work.
i need to juggle between my work and tuition la..so once everything is more settle down,i promised to have more time for u?;)
 
oh shit la..quarel quarel...
 
sigh..gd night.

a big lie

today work was fine.as usual conducting interviews till my mouth runs dry...i mean very dry.

guess what?i jus told my manager a VERY BIG lie.

well rem earlier i said i told them that i had to attend to family matters thus i start work a week later?
ok so today my mnger probes in further..so i told them erm..its my relatives had fallen sick,so i have to help them out.

and fianlly it spins to a story which my cousin found up that he/she contracted kidney failure,and thus i have to go help my aunt out.

i know..its like..a big sin to make this kinda lie,but then again..it helps me in a way that i can be excuse to leave after 5.30pm or so.aka i dun have to stay back unless i want to.

well well..what a big liar.

guess what?
hehe..my lil bro just show me his love letter!!!!hahaha..

this gal named Michelle,sec 1 wrote to him,saying she has fallen in love with him!!

wha ha!!see how bold young gals are now!i dun even have the courage to confess and admit my own feelings when i have a crush.

haha..and now my lil boy is like..i dunno what he's gonna do,but im sure he will keep me update.
so stay tune.

oh man..i need a good massage..esp on my shoulders.its breaking.

Jason and Me

today is a day full of interviews again.
in the midst of interviews,i almost lost my voice.had to give some serious coughs to regain my voice.

and for today i stayed until 7.15pm..gee..i seriously pray hard i wont be call back on Sunday and after this week,i wont be doing this kinda unpaid OT.(yea....right)

well..i must be rather solemn at work,coz the manager asked questions like if i am angry that i have to conduct interviews on the first day of work,izzit too tough for me,do i have any problems etc?
come on!!my working capabilities is not that ... dense?and i dun talk much coz naturally im a quiet person and like im only there like TWO days?cant expect me to go 'hey pals' to them right?
lastly..you think this is school ah?sheese...seriously i dun think there is chances of making real friends in the working world.

very tiring and its so sad for me coz im like,missing Jason every now and then.how i wish the next day i could sleep late and then get ready for a date with him.

sigh...i really miss him,even though its only like one hour ago we part.
we had dinner after work,and i appreciate him for e efforts.
we could have both GONE home.(lol)

i wish i have the strength to hug him and linger a lil more with him.

after dinner,i wanted to go home immediately when he whined to me that he wanted to visit the aquarium shop.
he loves fishes...duh..boring pets.

haha..how cute when he whines to me..so adorable,that i cant help but give in.

and yea..sorry everyone for not being able to contact u these days.been very busy le..my bones are gonna fall apart.

good night.

i love you,dear.

You And I Both

Well.to answer Yng's question asked previously,what is Jason and my theme song?
i would pick,no WE would pick Jason Mraz .and i go for the acoustic version.(not the live one we heard on radio)

My bday yesterday was truely a simple blissful date.
he got me a big stalk of =D -->Sunflower,2 burned CDs,one is a song list,the other photo.

went to catch SpiderMan 2.well..i still say if i were to pick any any cartoon hero,it would forever be Spider man.well..not becoz of the cutie Tobey Maguire,well just partly.and Mr Spidey has better dress sense than the bat and the man who flys ard the skies.

ok let's flip to the new chapter aka the start of my ACTUAL working life,day one.

damned passengers of the morning crowd to work.cant believe im joining them now.
i am standing on the bus for dunno how long before i finally claimed a seat.there is no rule such as man letting seat for the maiden.horrible.
i was so tired.did not sleep well last night,as usual on the eve of another new event of my life.
and i dreamt and thought of jason throughout my sleepless night.

day one...conduct "interview" for those applicants for cleaners. for ur information,my company is like those other companies outsourced for cleaners.we are like the supplier of ..duh..cleaners.
just hand me a paper with what im supposed to explain to the applicants and i gotta start on my own after one live demo.

got the hang of it though its rather tiring to repeat over and over again with a kind smiley face.(throw in panda eyes)

and this is gonna last till this week.expect OT and yea,UNPAID OT.Gee..talk about underpaid graudate.

the damned distance...is one major major major drawback.

after work im suppose to go teach tuition.and yea..i STOOD ALL THE WAY till paya lebar before i alighted to board 155 or 28 to TPY.damn!!i could almost drop on my knees from Changi to Paya Lebar.DAMNED LONG and what's worse?NO SEATS!!!
what the fish.

if this wasnt miserable enough...it was about to rain in TPY when i reach.all cold and slippery and im in pants.i reached at ard 7pm when im like 30 mins earlier.wanted to sit in the voideck to eat the cold breads i bought this morning,to subsituite my dinner.

who knows there is a funeral held there!!?
so i stood for the 20 odd mins,eating the cold breads,in the cold.
jason is my only comfort till he told me his hp is low batt.
i really wanna stand bawling out my guts.feel so pitiful after the long hard day,and the one up there planned a hill for me to walk over.yes,on my first day of my new chapter.

but but...surprisingly,the tuition session with Junhan today is a comfort.his house is warm,and he is on good behaviour.
i did not lose my patience and is infact really patient with him.

ok..gotta wait for his call for a while before i dropped dead on the bed,awaiting for another day....feels ...

You And I Both

Well.to answer Yng's question asked previously,what is Jason and my theme song?
i would pick,no WE would pick Jason Mraz .and i go for the acoustic version.(not the live one we heard on radio)

My bday yesterday was truely a simple blissful date.
he got me a big stalk of =D -->Sunflower,2 burned CDs,one is a song list,the other photo.

went to catch SpiderMan 2.well..i still say if i were to pick any any cartoon hero,it would forever be Spider man.well..not becoz of the cutie Tobey Maguire,well just partly.and Mr Spidey has better dress sense than the bat and the man who flys ard the skies.

ok let's flip to the new chapter aka the start of my ACTUAL working life,day one.

damned passengers of the morning crowd to work.cant believe im joining them now.
i am standing on the bus for dunno how long before i finally claimed a seat.there is no rule such as man letting seat for the maiden.horrible.
i was so tired.did not sleep well last night,as usual on the eve of another new event of my life.
and i dreamt and thought of jason throughout my sleepless night.

day one...conduct "interview" for those applicants for cleaners. for ur information,my company is like those other companies outsourced for cleaners.we are like the supplier of ..duh..cleaners.
just hand me a paper with what im supposed to explain to the applicants and i gotta start on my own after one live demo.

got the hang of it though its rather tiring to repeat over and over again with a kind smiley face.(throw in panda eyes)

and this is gonna last till this week.expect OT and yea,UNPAID OT.Gee..talk about underpaid graudate.

the damned distance...is one major major major drawback.

after work im suppose to go teach tuition.and yea..i STOOD ALL THE WAY till paya lebar before i alighted to board 155 or 28 to TPY.damn!!i could almost drop on my knees from Changi to Paya Lebar.DAMNED LONG and what's worse?NO SEATS!!!
what the fish.

if this wasnt miserable enough...it was about to rain in TPY when i reach.all cold and slippery and im in pants.i reached at ard 7pm when im like 30 mins earlier.wanted to sit in the voideck to eat the cold breads i bought this morning,to subsituite my dinner.

who knows there is a funeral held there!!?
so i stood for the 20 odd mins,eating the cold breads,in the cold.
jason is my only comfort till he told me his hp is low batt.
i really wanna stand bawling out my guts.feel so pitiful after the long hard day,and the one up there planned a hill for me to walk over.yes,on my first day of my new chapter.

but but...surprisingly,the tuition session with Junhan today is a comfort.his house is warm,and he is on good behaviour.
i did not lose my patience and is infact really patient with him.

ok..gotta wait for his call for a while before i dropped dead on the bed,awaiting for another day....feels ...

Last Christmas - Savage Garden

i know..its an inappropriate song for today.but dunno why that it is stuck in my head now.
well..better than that pokemon gameboy sounds.haha.

this year,the bday msges i received from my friends are somewhat different from the previous.i meant the pple.
haha..guess time do drift pple apart and brought some closer.

thanks everybody anyway.love ya all~~muacks.

that stupid boy of mine called in 20 seconds before the clock strike 12 last night,and sang a bday song.
very sweet,cant help to smile with a capital S on the other end from him.

but that do reminds me of something years back.
guess that doesnt matter anymore.

alright,one last day before im on to battle.
charge~

Twas' the night before my 20th

Twas' the night before my 20th bday,how do i feel?
nothing much,i guess.

its not a very much feeling that you are gonna give up your '1' and join the '2'.i guess age do matters alot to the female species and im one of them.

as i become 20,im gonna start work.
i dunno if im looking fwd to it.half yes and no.well...i just hope the working conditions and pple there can make up for the distance that i have to travel.

no matter what,a new chapter is to unfold.probably i cant see Jason very much then...*bites hard*.well..grill on mich.

i guess i dun expect very much for tomorrow as well.since i did ask for a normal date.its ok. i take on a normal date appreciatly.

oh yes..i ask for something.
a sunflower.:)
hehe..i dun have a favorite flower.but i like the sight of a sunflower.
ya,it may be big and bulky,not abit elegant looking.but as e name goes..it just radiates a very positive,erm....feeling?
just a simple stalk with some grasses decorating it.
sunflower to me is like a big smile. =D

but then again...i dun think i have a favorite flower.

hmm....

guess im playing too much Pokemon gameboy(yes,pret~you are seeing things right) and now my ears keep hearing those gameboy music..

duh...

today i woke up with a red eye and a sensitive nose which cant stop sniffing n sneezing -_-''

sometimes i get very irritated by my nose.when its cold at night,i cant help rubbing it.note..it's rubbing,not digging.-.-
and then i sneeze like crazy.

have you ever notice how fast a day can pass?
we have 24 hours a day.that makes 1440 mins per day and 86400 sec per day..wait..izzit right?haha.
pardon me if that's wrong.

anyway yea,a day is like..so fast.
we open our eyes in the morning,had breakfast(and some even sleep till there is no need for breakfast),bathed,step outta e house,return by evening,have dinner,watch a lil tv,surf a lil internet and back to sleep again.

it's pretty scary when i think of this is how a day is gone and our life could pretty much just end like this,everyday lost.

as we grew up...we found someone we fancy,gang of friends we clicked with,start working,spends time outside more.we started to spend lesser and lesser time with our family,our parents.

and i really wonder what kinda feelings or how they are dealing with it.
say as we grow,they age too..and that is the period of time we are gonna spend lesser and lesser time with them.

i guess on one part,they really understand that their children have all grown up and is starting to have a life of their own.and that they have to let them lead their own life too.

but really...inside they feel so lonely.
i feel very bad each time that i have to go out to meet my friends,jason and leave my daddy at home.sometimes i dun even come back home for dinner.

i knew it will be better for them that there is a prescence of me in the house although i seldom help them out or really really..just engage in a decent conversation.

im one of those that are though close to parents but there is a lack of mutual coversation b/w us.i do the listenings most of the time and i dunno how to answer back too.

sigh...

i just feel very bad.

and now that i understand..i guess i know why that they are still willing to look after their grandchildren and hopes that their children gave them as many grandchildren as possible.

coz perhaps to them..it was somewhat a resemblance of their own children.they are 'returning' to the time when we were kids and need their love,care and attention so much.

sigh...

i wish i can give them more..
i know they wish to retire in Hainan Islands..they love the simplicity of life there.and of coz the fact that they could live like the richs.haha.

even if i cant do that...i just hope that i could perhaps bring or let them go on holidays to enjoy the rest of their lives.

Are you willing to experience fear and uncertainty in your life in order to experience the extraordinary?

here is Ms Crayon's latest blog.

"I know i said i wouldn't write again for a while. But I felt it would be bad luck to leave my blog on such a depressing note for too long.

So, something happened just then while I was working on the computer at work. I was flicking through the electronic calender they use here. flicking through all the years, months, saying to myself "march 2005, I'll be 25, April 2005, I'll be 25, January 2006, I'll be 26" and so on.

Just struck me that I probably wont be in the same job when those dates finally tick over in this electronic calender that I am using now.

Who knows where I will be.

Maybe this is the thing that has been scaring me so much, causing me to wake at night. For the first time in my life, I realise that I am actually living...That THIS is life, and not a dress rehearsal, and not university, which is "preparing me" for "Life"....and this is not how I thought my life would be.

I had pictures and dreams of what I thought I would be doing when I was 20, 25, 28, 30, 35, 40. My ideas of what I would be doing as a 24 year old, when I was 15 or 16 are VASTLY different to what I am doing now.

This means then, that what I am thinking I might do in the next 5 - 10 years, is no where near what I really will be doing.

Where on earth will I be??? For some stupid stupid reason, I really want to know. But wouldn't that be boring if you knew where you were going to be in 10 years time? There would be no spontaneity. No surprises. No fear. No excitement.

As much as I don't want the fear, I want all the other stuff so much, that I am willing to feel afraid in order to feel them.

That is what you've gotta weigh up, I guess.

Are you willing to experience fear and uncertainty in your life in order to experience the extraordinary. Am I?"

__________________________________________________________________
I love reading her blogs.she has a wonderful flair for writing,and is a shame if she is not in any media,journalism line.

back to her question...am i willing to experience fear and uncertainty in my life in order to experience the extraordinary?
hmm...

im a risk adverse type of person.i do not mind a simple life but i can be really sick of rountine.
i will really cry if i watch my life goes by doing the same or similar things over and over again.

sometimes...i wonder why humans can make living so complicated?i mean...we all know we only have this one life and tomorrow may not even comes.yet we are often bring down by the daily troubles.

things that was,things that are and some things that you cant see yet.(quote:LOTR 1)

we know we should live each of our every day to the fullest,yet we do not practise what we preach?
infact i find most pple,including myself,hardly practise what they preach to others.

we are often lock in the opinions of your family,friends,colleagues,teachers,and some pple who you dont even know.

sigh..and usually its through age that we learn.we became wiser but could never turn back time.

Yng said she wish there is a guide book that guides her on everything.from food to love to dressing etc,so she wouldnt get into troubles.
ha,silly gal.

we often wish we know more than our age permits us to.

we wish we could become prettier,knows how to dress better,eat and live healtier,picks up the one you are interested in easier,get better grades,not to bumper at interviews,not to waste money on the clothes that you know you probably leave them dying in the closet,not to incur the wrath of ur boss/parents/teachers/and sometimes friends etc...

well...but i guess that is life.perhaps its everything that we have to go through that makes life fuller.
say we are bound to get into troubles,have some fashion blooper days,have days we feel so unhealthy and far(like me,its forever..i guess this is a gal thang),have days we feel so unhappy towards our significant others etc..

and then we wish we could turn back time to avoid all these..haha..

well..i say,we only one life..thats it~the best we could do is to get in less troubles.

am i willing to experience fear and uncertainty in your life in order to experience the extraordinary.
well..perhaps some pt of my life i would.;P

being popular n not

fighting myself to get off the bed early this morning to catch a promise movie- Mean Gals with Yng.

just as i reached Bishan,i find my stomach/gastric/appendicitis or whatever kinda act up again.suddenly i feel very tired and my eyes are like shutting.

ok i dunno how the hell did it affect whether i feel sleepy or not,coz i felt the same yesterday with Jason.

it was like i dun feel very good inside my stomach,den i feel like closing my eyes and rest for good.oh touch wood~
and i must have something in my stomach to make it feel better,even im not hungry.
great...

and so...Mean Gals.well,its a typical chick flick with its normal bust of laughters and so.
high schools and colleges' life sure seem more happening and exciting there.but one thing is..you either find ur click,being popular and not.

skipping my high school age,lets move on to my college aka NYP life.
i guess im not the popular group too,but well,i got my own clicks and is somewhat acceptable and perhaps a lil popular.;p
but again,being popular or not is not really much an issue.more importantly is you gotta be acceptable and have real friends there.

oh sheese...why do i feel my food not being digested.everything is like stuck in the throat.
*sick*

starting work pretty soon..and now im really not very looking fwd to it.i mean..why on hell did i NOT mind the distance??i got offer from the BBS,and why on hell did i REJECT?BLAH!!!

cuss mich!

my brother and uncle told me that there will be a SURE jam on the paya lebar road.oh damn,having a jam in a long distance travel is the unluckiest thing it could happen.

and the dread is the bus stop is some good walking distance from my house,and i still gotta teach tuition??????

now everything is falling on me and i feel like singing Craig David's 'Walking Away'

ok now...Breathing in!!
thou shalt take things in my stride and move on.
dun get defeated..no gal,you are not suppose to do so.

im gonna be a good gal and stay home tml.
probably my stomach needs a rest as well.

love my family,my frens and him,
mich

a warm passionate lips therapy session

hehe...well..tonight he kissed very very passionately.it was wild,warm..the pace is almost uncatchable.
and yea..a powerful kiss that he reckons that that is the kiss that can leads to bed.
opps..haha.

we went to Chompchomp to eat.actually i dun find it very special..it just those kinda hawker center food.
and alot of good food they often recommend just taste normal to me.

my stomach feels wounded.like i mentioned last blog,i felt as if needles poking thru?this is like after the needles had poke thru.

;(

oh yea..before i forget..joke of the day.

Jason and i were at NTUC fairprice.i was buying the oats and a bottle of sotong sauce for my daddy.
after examining the bottle,i decided to exchange for another bottle coz the cork seems loose.
and jason over at the cereals side said,"why?scare e TESTICLES flow out ah?"(something like this)
i turned to look at him repeating,"testicles?" with a very confused look on my face.
and so he repeated the word again,and i repeated after him looking very confused.
suddenly he burst out laughing,he meant to say "tentacles"

my god..look at tat horny goat.say the subconscious mind says the most.

puppy eyes,warm hugs,soft kisses and hyming....doesnt take away the pain

puppy eyes,warm hugs,soft kisses and hyming....doesnt take away the pain,but sure it lessen the pair.

halfway thru teaching Junhan,suddenly i got an attack of either gastric or appendicitis,the pain was really 'growing' with each minute passed.

Jason was waiting at the voideck after my tuition,and yes..i was still kinda mad over his msges.so my first greeting was,"so free ah?"

i knew that is very rude,and i almost wanna punch myself when he gave me those very upset puppy eyes.
*control*

he asked me in a very pleading yet amusing tone not to scold him anymore,coz he got scolded by his mum and coach earlier in e day.
aww..my poor baby..i wanted to really hug him dear,but my pride got the better of me.

i knew i looked very bad today..the momment i went in to the toilet,i almost wanna puke at the mirror.yurks..dark eye circles,mess up hair,poor dressing,bloated figure.YURKS!how did i even step outta the house?

my pain did not vanish,infact it got worse.i thought it must be gastric so i ate a bowl of fishball noodles.(which is bad! x( )

the pain goes on..its like having a pack of thick needles inside my..erm..abit left from the stomach.
each step,word,breathe or hug is like pushing the needles in there.and the pain comes every other seconds.

if its only the pain,perhaps it aint that bad.
the noodles was like..stuck in my throat and i really feel like throwing out.and i feel like gg to the toilet to ease myself at the same time.
anything that can get rid of the food.

silly jason still thinks its ok to kiss..when its almost like having the food in my throat,i feel like throwing them out any minute.

with the nauseous feel,the pain..i feel sleepy too.

oh sheese..it must be that i have been really rude n bad in my previous blog.

now the pain has subsided,i still feel weird.
hope everything will be fine when tomorrow comes.
and i hope that this will stop me from being a food junkie for good,look at my figure..EUUCH!

hell!what the fish!

why izzit that suddenly all the bfs are SO busy with their own personal committments.blardy.

he promised to spend more time with me this week,since this is my last week before i go to work.and knowing we wouldnt have much time for each other again after i work.he knows that and havent i been putting myself clear time after time?!

lemme put this straight out again...when i work,my time ends at evening.and he forever will have his trainings and elken,to say the least.
sometimes i have to rush to teach tuition.
every time after a day of work,the last thing i would want to do is to walk about and my place is like the end of e East side?

and he said he will try to have more time with me this week!
i am just asking for a free wednesday or thursday and he said he will have to sort things out first.oh what the hell is that?

look..it almost seem like i AM the one who is constantly REQUESTING for some time together.
and DO YOU THINK I JOLLY WELL FANCY A LATE DINNER AND SPEND MONEY TO EAT WITH YOU AFTER MY TUITION,WHEN I CAN JUST GO HOME AND HAVE COOKED FOOD??
and ya,that is MY request too!!

I AM MAD,you know..and is VERY mad at you,JASON!
i dunno how busy you are and can be,but seriously what are you doing all these for?

for me?for us?or for YOU?

look..you may be saving money for my coming bday,but im telling you i DUN GIVE A DAMN about any presents or what...eating restaurants.i can jolly well eat at a normal coffee-joint,and even fork my own money for the movie.I DUN WANT ANYTHING BUT JUST A LITTLE TIME WITH YOU!

seriously to all those boyfriends who are so committed to their work with the thought of wanting the BEST for their girlfriends...i really wonder if that is the real heartfelt thought,OR MAINLY A GLOSSY EXCUSE TO SATISFY YOUR OWN MEN EGOS!!

maybe some gals do care for some materials or so,but all i want is some quality time with you,not some time filled with quality things!

i have no idea but really do you know how much I HATE to just spend some lil hours with you before seeing YOU off to ur trainings.yes..im trying my best to understand you,your committments and give space..but that doesnt give you the right NOT to understand how i feel and find ways to give in to me.

oh~f-uck!
im feeling so damn crossed right now that its better if you find a good way to see me tonight and talk about this one last time,OR better not even come to see me!

yea e-ya~im independent~(not)

nah..this is taken from the 'Mean Girls' soundtrack,dunno sang by which gal/galband.
me and yng plan to watch but it's not even up on e screen yet.haha.
and there we have the old classmate(but we never talk before) of my secondary school,Wengkin, and his cousin...for a short while.lets put it as this guy never change.still as lame as ever.but i guess he is really kind.

sigh...seem that none of my friends are able to go down to club,other than that sha sha de ke ai yiyin.and Yng havent really gave me her reply.

i wanna check up china black,devils,MU etc.but i think MU's ladies night is on Thursday.bah..

ok why not make it this way.if noone goes with me,Jason you wanna join me?we make it on Thursday,and yea..guy's covercharge is like 15 bucks.if that night is ladies night,i halved your charge for you.

actually not that im keen to club,i dun even dance.afterall my leg is injured.(ouch~)but i wanna be a lil havoc before i start work,and be prim and proper.
and for a tiny personal reason,Yng you know it.shhhhhhhhhhhh!

was doing the usual walk around town with Yng.hmm..you know..someday i know im gonna miss what im doing now.not that we cant do this in the future,but im sure when time change,the feelings and talks we have right now will change too.
so im like cherishing every min i have with everyone now.
we only got one life,ya know.

sigh..i have no idea what to do to well spend and well rest this week before start work.
and it do sound abit like im gonna head for my execution lidat.haha.

boring....

Ya-soo~(Greeks - Hello)

Ka-li-mera!(Good morning in Greek)

you know,im not the fan of any teams or countries but since i have a bet with Jason..it turns me to be a supporter of e Greeks for this season.

yes,thank you all e Greek Gods!your pple make ur country proud by walking away with the Euro Cup this season and deafeating all the strong opponents!

Greeks defeated Portugal (AGAIN~)

hehe!
Holler all my Greek hunks~

and Jason..it's pay up time!!
Mwahahahaha!!!^-*

Th-elo ko-kin-o kra-si,ko-kin-o kre-as, ko-ri-a-tiki~

(I would like some red wine,red meat aka beer and some country salad aka Greek salad.)

To-la-ga-ris-mos Para-kalo

(Bill please~)
HAHAHAHA!

flipping thru the past

yea,i know Yng must be wondering how many entries can i blog in a day.well..several times,as and when i feel like doing it.

as i rummage thru my drawers,i found my old collections!
i found this phonecards i used to collect when i was young.yea,when i was young,i used to collect all sorts of things.
erasers,bears,phonecards,writing papers,stamps etc.
coz i just cant bear to throw and think one day pple will share my old collections.
of coz i threw some away..but i managed to dig up some too.
i have got this ard 40 old phonecards,some are not even use.
hehe..cant wait to show to jason.

and then i rummage through all the cards that my friends used to send me.greeting cards,valentine cards,some cards cum letters etc.
i have got from Yng,Wenhui,Peisi,Vita,Yann Yng,Pearle,Audris etc.
so cute and such a warm feeling.

i wonder how many pple still keep in touch with letters these days?hmm...i was about to send a letter to my old friend -Evelyn.but cant find stamps.o_O

i thought of sending one to Peisi as well...

and yea...i promised but have not even write a single sentence to brother Heng.opps..sorry.

i lost Vita now.

hmm...alot of times..pple sigh over the kinda closeness that they used to share.as time passes,pple have to move on with their lives..driving on their own routes.
as pple might said ...friends do come and go.
what is only left are the memories.
so i do really cherish each and every friend i know,and even better,really spend some good time together.

argh..its still like one more hour to Euro cup.i wanna zzzz!and i bet i am not that interested in the whole match other than the scores.
sorry...im not a soccer freak.

Final Euro Cup match coming right up!

im not a usual soccer fanatic and the last time i got so frenzy over soccer WAS the last few matches of worldcup.haha,rem' Yng?

tonight is a show down between Portugal and Greece.and ya,Greece surprise everyone by defeating every of their strong opponents.
infact they had already defeated Portugal in the first round and there they meet again in the finals.
i kinda think the Greeks Gods must be watching thier people,haha..they surprise me by winning Czech,whom i thought will walk away with the Euro cup..since France is out..also defeated by Greece.

to all those soccer lovers/gamblers..i bet they are now really thinking twice whether to place their bet on the strong army -Portugal or perhaps put their trust to the black horses - Greece.

i initiated a mini bet with dear old soccer freak aka yours truely bf.
i knew he cant wait for Portugal to kick Greece away,since they defeated his favourite France.
but i shall now go against the odds..coz i think..Greece may really put a strong fight this round.
so all the Greeks Gods..lend me ur power..watch over e Greeks and let them win,do the country proud!!hehe.

the stake..the winner call e shots on food ordering/making.
even if i lose,i have already something in mind what to make.though it wont be him calling the shots liao.haha.

Greeks,make them YELL!!!!!!

If you come back --Blue

i always like to start my winamp by playing this song.dunno why.
haven't been looking into Jason's friendster profile for sometime,and when i did..wow..hehe.he did made changes to that 'About Me' session and so.
thank you:)

looks like my friends cant join me to club this wednesday.Yng,u wanna go?we hit MU,then to Chinablack and so on.call me call me.

my 20th bday is coming soon.i dun ask for any big celebrations,posh restaurants and so on.i just want a simple,nice date.a date that starts in the day with a simple breakfast,a movie and ends the evening at the beach.
i guess i cant make home too late coz im starting work the next day and just in case my parents bought cake.
and you know..i dunno if its possible to buy helium ballons at a cheap cost.coz jason told me it wouldnt be cheap.but its only like..helium balloons?
or really anything that can flies,like kites..erm..whatever?that i could let it fly back to the sky at the end of the day.

think its gonna rain very soon.just dun do this on the 12th.

hehe..another lazy sunday~

ermz...

20 Questions to a Better Personality




Wackiness: 62/100
Rationality: 52/100
Constructiveness: 50/100
Leadership: 26/100


You are a WEDF--Wacky Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you a menace to society, depending on how you channel your energies. You chew your fingers and have an addictive personality. Properly guided, you can be enormously productive--otherwise you run amok, stir up trouble, and generally have a hell of a good time.

To your friends, you are a source of relentless entertainment. You often get into trouble, but you almost always find a way out. You are strangely popular and feed off others' energy. You live hard, seize the day, and although your more sober friends would like to see you settled down, you generally have fewer regrets and better memories than they do. Your tenet is that, at the end of the day, one regrets only what one didn't try. You are right.

You could benefit from outside help in balancing your highs and lows. Or perhaps cutting back on the caffeine.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


check this out.

every day lost is another day gained.

like i'd said..i have been keeping in contact with my friends through emails lately.its so nice and heart warming to hear from everyone,how are their lives now,what they are doing and plan to do,and wishes for each other.

yvonne ended her mail this way,"Folks, One lifetime is all we have. Do u realise that evry sungle day that passes and finishes, never coming back. Time slips away everyday. I m starting to cherish this value. Do what u have to do and work hard. We can all suceed... for now, take care okay?"

she is slowly working towards her dream...its pretty funny to see how positive thoughts in life just keep you going.
now that im gonna step into the work force pretty soon, i find this very inspiring quote from the book 'A Legacy to My Sons'

Enjoy your work
Beutify everything -
Yous thoughts,your voice,
your office, your car,
your handwriting
your relationships --
and know that we have limited time to do so.

im pretty sure that this job that im gonna work in is not the best paying one,not the one with the most attractive benefits package,favourable location,nice office and all.but well..who ask me were to be lazy to really choose a job.now things come my way like this,i will have to drill my way through and hopefully achieve something.

to end this whole blog altogether..i shall quote some lines and so from the same book.

Our stay on earth is limited to about 80 years.It works out to 29,218 days only. That means every passing day registers a day nearer to our graves. We are like tourists. Yet.there is so much to learn and enjoy. In the midst of joy there is also sadness. Therefore, we need to learn a few secrets to fully enjoy our earthly stay.

We are all made to be achievers. The insurance to lasting achievement is humility. Pride always bring disgrace in due course. Humidlity is the lubricant that ensures that your machinery is running with the least friction and with less wear and tear. The more humility you have, the longer will your machinery last.

Like our Creator, attempt great and marvellous things. Make your thoughts happy and beautiful. Do good and think good. Be cheerful and bright. Just as ants are attracted to sugar, people will then be attracted to you. You can be the source of inspiration and light.

Look at the stars and know that there is a maker
whose wondrous creations
are beyond our comprehension.
And he gave us the same creative ability
to overcome odds
finding the soultion to any problem
demanding that we must be achievers.

=D

Penny & Me

Penny And Me
by Hanson

Album : Underneath

Cigars in the summertime
Under the sky by the light I can feel her read my mind
I can see it in her eyes
Under the moon as it plays like music every line
There's a rug with a bleeding dye
Under the fan in the room where the passion's burning high
By the chair with the leopard skin under the light
It's always Penny and me tonight

On the plane step with both my feet
Riding in seat number three on a flight to NYC
Got my bean in a coffee cup next to my seat
Catch the view and another good book to read
Sitting at home over the friendly skies missing her eyes
It's always Penny and me tonight

'Cause Penny and Me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up push the pedal to the ground,
And Penny and Me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight

Staring at a million city lights
But still Penny and I are all alone beneath the sky
Feel the wind brushing slowly by
If I could soar I would try, to take these wings and fly
Away to where the leaves turn red
But no matter where I am instead
Singing along to feeling alright
Or making it by under pink moonlight
It's always Penny and me tonight

'Cause Penny and Me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up push the pedal to the ground,
And Penny and Me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight

Penny likes to get away
And drown her pain in lemonade
Penny dreams of rainy days
And nights up late by the fireplace
And aimless conversations about the better days

Singing along to feeling alright
Making it by under pink moonlight
It's always Penny and me tonight

'Cause Penny and Me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up push the pedal to the ground,
And Penny and Me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes pretend to fly
It's always Penny and me tonight

Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight
)))))))))))))))))))))(((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))((((((((((((((

Anyway gal,this is the lyrics to the new song of the Hanson's brothers.yes,its a gr8 song if only Jason didnt keep singing it;p
i would want that in my cd,that is if you still rem' to burn for me,dear.

went to Geylang to have our dinner.(when i came home to have more..gosh..im dead!)
Geylang is Singapore's red lights districts.so its really common to see females of all ages,sizes and shapes wearing sexily,standing there and hooking guys.
some were really young,say in their teens?gosh..i wonder are they forced to do this or they did this for quick money.

my friends and i were mailing each other lately.well..some got quite a good job,and now i think mine sucks in terms of pay,benefits and location.sigh..but i was all too tired to look for a job again.

i dun feel like im gonna work.its like..i feel more like im gonna go back to study after next week.go back and meet my friends,jeer the lecturers and tutors.skip lectures we deemed unimportant to go home early.sit at the canteen or mac to eat healthily and den talk about anything under the sun.go to the tutorials with nothing written on the papers.wrote alot of notes during ICAs time to study and basically forget about the whole thing after it was done.leave projects till the wee hours and rush like some crazy pple when deadlines are near.And this always surprise how we can still manage to hand a decent piece of work.lol.
sigh...we all knew all these will end and has end..but it still feel so unreal..sometimes.

had ard 1 week plus before working life begin.no more thinking it sucks,might as well get myself armed and prepare to take on it.ya..that is how it should be!come on baby,i will shoot ur ass down!haha.now that sounds like some perverts.

one last week...gonna enjoy myself.maybe i will go to club on wednesday.club?um...maybe ChinaBlack,MU,Devils..oh watever.see if i feel like it den.

shop shop shop

went to Bugis to shop.
hehe..that retail guy is so cute.ok..he isnt really cute,as in,really yummily cute.but he is rather cute in the way that he is so sincere and boyish.
and ya..i always like the guy next door type.
if i isnt attached,i would really shoot him a few good eyes.haha,talk about bitchy mich.

i guess a lil flirting wont kills,but again..i didnt even flirt.

jason is definitely not the guy next door..but i dunno where he stands either.
so i really thinks he has got hold of some voodoo kinda spell on me.haha.

remind me of the coolbag,jason~see ya tml.and im really good huh?